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Pregnancy Questions & Answers

Please remember, I'm not a doctor, so I can't give u medical advice, but...here r my thoughts...

question

I have a 22 month old sonDear Jewelz,
I'm sixteen and my bf is seventeen...I'm almost five months pregnant with twins we are really scared and don’t know what to do. I cant tell my parents, they would kick me out. I wouldn’t want to give them up for adoption, what if they were separated or thought that we didn’t love them?! What if the adoptive parents brought them up to not know about me and my bf? I think im too far along to have an abortion; after reading stories of other girls and their experiences, we both feel we couldn’t do it... However, we have seriously been considering trying to abort the babies or break my water ourselves. ive heard of girls doing that it seems like a quick fix right now...we are panicing a lot!
- Shayna  

Dear Shayna,
You have done the right thing by seeking out help, and your desire to find your children safe and loving parents is very admirable. While it is understandable that your parents may be disappointed with you being in an unplanned pregnancy situation, they would never want you to hurt yourself. Trying to abort your children on your own could end up costing you more than your babies...it could cost you your life, and none of you deserve that.

You have options and you are not alone. There are a lot of people who are willing and able to provide young women and couples with answers, help, and a hand of compassion to guide them in a time when they feel great despair. With your pregnancy being advanced, one real option is definitely adoption. Plus, you, as the birth parents, are treated with dignity and respect. In fact, through the adoption process, you are the that selects who you feel will make the best possible parents for your children.

An adoption counselor can give you exactly the support that you need to best face this situation. We all make mistakes. An adoption counselor will speak with you, listen to you, and do their best to help you to see how a situation with a rough start could turn into a blessing for you, your children, and potentially a new loving family. You can contact nationwide adoption center Lifetime Adoption to start an adoption plan for your babies: their number is 1-800-923-6784.

Expecting twins is an amazing gift. Two babies that have been born together should stay together. There are so many families that would love to welcome two babies into their lives. So, Lifetime Adoption never separates twins.

If you decide to pursue adoption as an option, an adoption counselor will explain why we do not separate twins, how you can receive free prenatal care, and additional financial support to cover pregnancy related expenses throughout the process. The adoption counselor will also discuss the different types of adoption, including the option of open adoption, which would allow your child to know and/or contact you and your baby's father.

Help is here and willing to counsel you through this situation. You are a very loving and caring person that wants the best for your unborn children. This unplanned pregnancy does not have to be the end of your life. Get help now. Visit LifetimeAdoption.com or give them a call at 1-800-923-6784.

-Jewelz

mom

Dear Jewelz,
i am only 15 i am in the 9th grade because i failed. i am prego and i want to finish school, but i don't know where i would leave the baby while i am at school all day?  my mother is not going to help me, grandmother is volunteering at church most of the days, i need help!
- Jennifer  

Dear Jennifer,
This is a very common question that i get with young pregnant teens, many of them have working family members such as yourself. First off, have you thoroughly thought this out that you want to keep this baby? I know you probably want to keep the baby so bad, but you are still very young and trying to finish school. Have you thought about what would be best for your baby in the long run? and second, have you thought about adoption for your baby? You can have an open adoption and even find a local or semi local family. An open adoption is where you can visit your baby as they grow up and such. You can still be connected to your baby and the adoptive family. If you want to ask more questions about adoption you can go visit: www.LifetimeAdoption.com - this is a great adoption agency and they are super helpful. Just think about all of this.

But if you do consider keeping your baby - think about who can help and how you can get support. Is your baby's father of the baby in a place he can help, with expenses etc.? It may help to write it all out to see if you'll be able do parent, cuz a baby is easy to love, but providing for one is different. Or if you go to church, maybe post a bulletin, you never know, someone may be willing to help you out. Hope i helped! Feel free to ask any further questions.
-Jewelz

teen question

Dear Jewelz,
Im 12 years old and I pregnant I'm berly 3 months but berly even have a stomouch but the problum is that I haven't told my mom that I'm pregnant and I don't want to tell her because I no that she's going to get mad at me what should I do and my bf is 16 years old and he dump me because I'm pregnant now help me
-Ashlie, 12

Dear Ashlie,
If a guy dumped u instead of supporting you and being there for you because your pregnant, he is not worth it and thats really hard to be alone like that but you just have to stay as strong as you can and dont let anyone or anything put you down. Now with your mom, you have to straight up tell her, when she is in a calm mood and so are you. it will be ok. she may be disappointed in you but your her daughter and she loves you and hopefully she will support you and be there for you through it all. Have you thought about after the baby is born what you will do? maybe adoption? think about that. Good luck!
-Jewelz

question

18 and pregnant!Dear Jewelz,
My little sister is 12 years old and she wants a baby very badly...she ahs a good boyfriend and a supportive family...but I wanna know what are your suggestions? When I say supportive family I dont mean the type of family that says we support you getting pregnant at a young age, but a family that will be understanding and aware her of her options.
-Elizabeth, 17

Dear Elizabeth,
i don't think having a baby at 12 is healthy or right. she is still a child herself and should embrace her childhood. Children are meant to be grown up with loving parents who are ready to have kids. So really it would be a bad idea for your little sister to have children, she's far too young. Let her know you care but that she should enjoy what she has now, a child would ruin her life right now as much as she thinks it wouldnt.
-Jewelz

mom

Dear Jewelz,
I think i might be pregnant, i think i got raped, but i am not sure if what he did qualifies as that. i am not sure what to do next or who to turn to
-Ella

Dear Ella,
Did he force you to do anything? That would be counted as being raped. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about all this? If so then turn to them and get their help. If your close with your parents they would be good to talk to as well. Go take a pregnancy test as well just to make sure you are pregnant.
-Jewelz

teen question

Dear Jewelz,
I'm scared. I had unprotected sex with my best friend 13 days ago. He didn't cum inside me from what I know but I know you can become pregnant by pre-cum. I have been peeing alot lately, and my stomach seems bigger. I haven't had weird cravings but I have been eating pretty much the same thing every day. Along with all that, I just have a feeling.. Please someone help me. What do I do? I want to know for sure if I am pregnant.
-Jen

Hi Jen,
Well it is true that you can become pregnant from pre-cum, but take a pregnancy test to be absolutely sure. Have you missed your period or been nauseous? if so then def see your doctor or take a pregnancy test.
-Jewelz

question

Dear Jewelz,
im so worried 3 months ago my boyfriend was asking me for sex! We did it, and now im pregnant. he's happy, we are going to get married but my mom wants me to abort! i really don't want because we really want that baby. Can my mom can force me to abort? what can i do?
-Lexi, 14

Dear Lexi,
im so sorry your in this situation. Have you considered your other option? adoption? i know a baby sounds really exciting right now but its nothing like you think it might be. Adoption might just be the best for you AND your mom. so maybe consider it or talk about it with your mom. if you want more information check out www.LifetimeAdoption.com. Also, i don't think your boyfriend should be asking you for sex. thats very disrespecful  and he no guy should ever ask for it. it should a 100% mutual choice. so really think about your baby, boyfriend, mom, and future and choices. Good Luck :)
-Jewelz

teen question

Dear Jewelz,
I just found out that I am pregnant. My parents don't like my babys daddy at all. I got a check up last week, my aunt took me but I'm afraid to tell my parents. They are extremely strict about having babies at a young age. Im afraid that they are going to kick me out. My parents are about to have a divorce and we are all going through a rough time. We are running low on money since my mom got fired and my dad will be moving to California. How do I not go through a depression? What Is the right thing to do for me and my baby?
-Larissa, 14

im very sorry your going through so much right now especially at a young age. Have you considered adoption at all? You probably would like to keep your baby but in hard times like these you should think about whats best for your baby and yourself. It would be difficult to have a baby right now for you. But really just keep your options open and think long and hard about it. Check out, www.LifetimeAdoption.com and just look around, they're great and offer confidential counseling. :) so let me know how things go hun! Good luck!
-Jewelz

mom

Dear Jewelz,
i im 21 weeks pregnant and it seems like my boyfriends not really into it i mean he trys but he doesn't do well with feelings and emotions and right now im very emotional i just want to find away to find out what he is feeling because i feel so alone right now
-Daria, 17

Daria,
this is alot for a guy/soon-to-be-father to take in, so dont be too bothered if he is not showing emotion he is prob just nervous and scared and is hopin he will be a good father. let him know that you love him and you are there for him when hes ready or needs to talk about anything at all. Maybe hes feelin better bout just talkin to friends right now. Some guys arent rly into gettin excited about a baby even tho deep down they rly are. So just keep ur chin up and hopefully he will come around ;)
-Jewelz

question

Dear Jewelz,
ok so I'm 18 and a freshman in college i just found out im preganant with a boy who im not dating and is just a friend....i dont know what to do or how to tell my parents...help please!!!
-Sadie

Sadie,
This is a tuff situation but you'll get through it! First off, does your guy friend know? If not, he absolutely should! Telling your parents will not be the easiest thing, but it also needs to be done, if you live near them, maybe go and tell them in person, sit them down and just say "mom, dad, I'm really sorry but something unexpected happened..." or something like that and finish it off. Maybe explain to them it was an accident and you just really need them and their support and love right now, your scared obviously and they can probably help you out. they will need and want to know cuz i'm sure they want to help you in any way they can. I'm really sorry your going through this. Also if you are considering adoption at all or need counseling for this, a great adoption center does so: www.LifetimeAdoption.com, check them out! They're very helpful! Good luck hun, write me back if you have further questions.
-Jewelz

mom

Dear Jewelz,
i'm Amber and well I think I may be pregnant! I'm really worried not about having a baby but what my parents might do! my bf wants to help any way he can but is there any way we can move out of our parents houses without them stopping us?
Amber, 15

Dear Amber,
So many teens want to have babies at this age, and even the ones who don't that end up gettin pregnant, want to keep the baby, but we're not equipped to have a baby, we're still babies our self, so really think long and hard about this decision. If you do decide to keep the baby, you can get emancipated but thats a very difficult process. If really are pregnant, you'll have to tell your parents and it wont be easy, so just sit them down and tell them in a calm way. It won't be easy but you'll get throught it all ;)
-Jewelz

question

Dear Jewelz,
I might be pregnant, and i dont know whether to tell the potential father or just wait till after i find out. what would you do in my position?
-Tara, 18

Tara,
Wait till you find out for sure would be best. Don't worry him or get him excited until you know for sure!
-Jewelz

teen question

I just found out I'm pregnant!Dear Jewelz,
my name is robin, im currently 14 in september ill be 15. two weeks ago i found out i was pregnant they said i was 7 weeks pregnant, i dont know what to do. my boyfriends just wants to do what i wanna do. but i have no clue what to do i need some help! i know my options but dont know what to choose.
-Robin

Robin,
You should have a talk with your boyfriend and see what his true feelings are. He can't just say, "i dont know", he has word in this too, he's going to be the father of this baby, so really talk to him about that. Personally I have to say that adoption is the best choice you should choose for your age. Alot of girls your age want to keep their babies when they find out that they're pregnant but in reality, girls our age in our generation aren't suppose to be mothers yet. we're still developing and learing how to be an adult and someday mother. So if you really want your baby to have the best life they can, adoption would be your best chance. You can have an open adoption where you get to see your child as they grow up. Visit LifetimeAdoption.com , they are a great adoption center that can really help you. Feel free to email me back with further questions. Good Luck hun!
-Jewelz

question

Dear Jewelz,
I'm two months pregnant and I haven't told my mom yet, but my boyfriend who knows is making this one of the hardest times of my life. I love him, but I told him that we shouldn't be together because he was causing me so much stress. Should I stay with him for the sake of our baby? And when should I tell my mom, I'm scared she will hate me and treat me like she did my sister. Please, help me.
-Riley

Dear Riley,
I think you are being wise with not staying with your boyfriend if he is not supporting you in this, because it is not just YOUR fault or your problem, its his as well and if he's gonna make this hard on you, he shouldnt be involved with the baby right now at least. Maybe he'll man up after a while but you have enough stress on your plate right now. And with your mom, there really is nothing else you can really do but to calmly straight up tell her. Tell her you love her and you just really need her support and strength to help you right now. you know what im saying?
Good luck! let me know what happens!
-Jewelz

teen question

Dear Jewelz,
I'm 16 and just found out 2 days ago that I'm 7 weeks pregnant. Ironically my mom gave me a test last night, without even knowing. Her and my dad hate my boyfriend. I want to keep my baby. If I get emancipated what kind of help can I recive?
- Abby, 16

Dear Abby,
This a tough situation for a teen and the very best thing is adoption. Its a hard thing for a teenager to do that but in the end it truly is the best situation so i encourage you to really keep your options open and think about whats really best for you and your baby. If you do decide to get emancipated after all i think you can get food stamps and i am not completely sure about health care but you can do some research or ask your doctor. Do remember though that once your emancipated, your parents cannot help you financially for the rest of your life. So really think about your options and keep an open mind. :)
-Jewelz

mom

Dear Jewelz,
See im 13 and im 5 months pregnant and im scared to tell my mom or go to school or tell my boyfriend because i got raped and now im pregnant what should i do??
- Danielle  

Dear Danielle,
I am so sorry for what happened. You do not deserve for anything like that to happen to you, or anyone else for that fact. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell your mother because it was not your fault and she’s your mom, she will most likely help you and care for you in every way she can. She loves you and im sure she wants to be there for you. So don’t be afraid to tell her. And your boyfriend, he is going to be angry, not at you hopefully, but he needs to know to. He should be there for you in everyway as well.  This is not an easy situation but I’m sure you can get through it. Be strong! Something else you might want to consider is going to a therapist or counseling because this was something probably so scary for you. It would be good for you in the long run. I really hope everything turns out alright for you. Good luck!
-Jewelz

question


Could I b pregnant?!Dear Jewelz,
I had gotten my period twice in July once at the begining of the month and then again at the end of the month. I then never got it in august. The first feiday of September I had sexual activities with my bf. We never had sex but it was close enough. Two days later I recieved my period, I was wondering if I am pregnant.
-Nikki

Nikki,
Sometimes your periods will do weird things such as coming twice a month or coming way earlier than expected. And if your boyfriend and you were doing "stuff" you could have had your vaginal hymen broken. In that case you might bleed a little bit. That is normal. So no your not pregnant. If you have more questions-feel free to answer me.
-Jewelz

teen question

Dear Jewelz,
I'm 16teen and pregnant my boyfriend is happy, and im happy. he has a job but i dont i need a job to help out. what to do?
-Jessica

Dear Jessica,
If you are in your early stages of pregnancy, if your not gettin alot of side effects, sure, a job would be good to start saving up if you plan to keep the baby, but after the baby, its best to focus on taking care of your baby. If your boyfriend is willing to make some money, great! That will help alot. But really think about if you want keep this baby or not, its a bigger responsibility than most teens realize, and you have school to worry about as well. So really double think about all of this, think things through. Good luck!
Please feel free to ask me further questions.
-Jewelz

question

Dear Jewelz,
im 15 and i think i am pregnant because i have the pregnancy syptoms and i havent had my period yet and i was meant to be due on last week. but i havent come on what should i do?
-Allison

Dear Allison,
First of all you should go get a pregnancy test to see for sure. If you ARE pregnant then go to your parents and tell them. Its very important you do that first of all because many girls are scared to tell their parents and they're gonna find out anyway and if you tell them like an adult, they'll take it better. But yeah, go get a preg. test and see if you are for sure first. Good Luck!
-Jewelz

mom

My boyfriend won't tell his parents I'm pregnant!I'm 19 and found I was pregnant about 2mths ago. I am 12 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend still hasn't told his parents. I gave him time to tell them because I know how hard it is to tell them. his mother is also pregnant and will be having her baby soon. I not sure exactly why he won't tell them because every time I ask him its a different story. so I basicly gave him 2mths to tell them and I became fed up with the whole thing. I told him how I felt and he promised he was going to his mom that day. he said he told her and I thought that problem was solved until he told me he lied. at that point I was hurt and dealing with so much on my own that I told if he didn't tell her that day I was going to break up wit him until he grew became man and took care of his responsibilities.then he told me he told her that day and about 2 weeks later I found he had lied to me again. I don't know what to do any more its to the point where my parents are starting not to like him and im stressing about everything and don't know what to do. plz help
-Diana

Dear Diana,
It seems to me that you have given your bf plenty of time to talk to his parents. At this point you should take things "into your own hands", because this situation not only involves him, but you, your future child, and both of your families. Consider calling your boyfriends mother, and asking if she has time that day to go out to coffee or lunch, that you need to talk to her. She might be more comfortable hearing this information in her own home though, so take that into consideration as well. If you wish to tell her that you wanted to tell her earlier, but that the information didn't get to her before now because of your boyfriend, then its best to tell her alone (with out your boyfriend there to prevent a fight). OR, you could get his mom, and your boyfriend together to tell her the news together. It might be best to make sure that you have things prepared and planned out before you tell her. She might take things easier and be less afraid/shocked or any other emotion that would be seen as negative. As for your boyfriend, it seems to me that you two need to have a face to face chat about him lying repeatedly. For your relationship to work, you two need to be able to trust each other. Also, it may be helpful to check out this website: LifetimeAdoption.com. Good luck!
-Jaime

teen question

Hi Jewelz,
Im 11 just found out I'm pregnant!...should i put my baby up for adoption?
-Maria

Dear Maria,
If your 11 and pregnant, then yes, adoption would be the best choice, your still young and you want to have the young life you were planning to have, and your baby needs the right home with parents who can give they're all to your baby. A wonderful adoption agency i know of is, Lifetime Adoption, go check them out at www.LifetimeAdoption.com. they have free counseling and all their families that are waiting to adopt are wonderful people who are waiting with open loving arms for a baby like yours. I really hope you make the right choice and everything goes smoothly for you.
-Jewelz

question

Im 16 and 25 weeks pregnant. I was wondering if legally Im aloud to move out? And could I get on government aid until I got on my feet?
-Anna

Anna, Well it depends on what state you live in. For example, I live in California and here you can get emancipated at 16 but can not have any financial help from your parents for the rest of your life. And about the government aid, you can get, at least in California, food stamps and medical, which is government insurance. So do some research on your state and see what you can do. Maybe talk to a trusted adult about it too. They may know some information. Hope I helped!

-Jewelz

mom

I chose adoptionI found out I was pregnant the day before my 16th birthday. By BF wanted me to get an abortion. He was abusive in every way possible since the beginning of our relationship. Sexually, Physically, and Mentally. At first I was going to keep my baby, but through a lot of help and soul searching I decided I couldn't do that to him, I didn’t want this little boy to become like the father. I chose adoption and have an open adoption. I have a MySpace page and his parents send me photos that I want to put up but I don’t want to take the chance my old BF will see them, tell me if you think I should put them up anyway.
- Molly, 16  

Wow, sounds like a tough situation but you did the right thing, I’m proud. Just put your myspace on private and delete him so he cant see them. It may be hard to delete him if you two are friends now but its for the best. I’m sure you still have his cell number in case you need to talk to him or anything. Hope I helped.
-Jewelz

question

Dear Jewelz,
okay so i found out recently that i am pregnant and i have decided to keep the baby. my parents decided they couldnt handle me and sent me to live 4 hours away in a place that is unfamiliar to me! i am super stressed and i was wondering if the stress i am under will affect the development of my baby?
-Sasha, 15

Dear Sasha,
First off, I'm so sorry that you are so stressed about being far away from home, I know exactly how that feels for I am in the same situation with being 4 hours from home in an unfamiliar environment, so i feel your pain, and second of all, yes, your stress can affect your pregnancy. Stress sends chemicals and hormones through your body, those same substances can cross the placenta to the smaller body of your baby. So when you get the chance, really try to just calm down, if your into reading at all, read a book that has a calm and nice storyline, not like a mystery or action book, maybe a love story or something similar to that that has happiness and such or another suggestion is just talking walks and taking in nature or having a nice cup of tea or lemonade or something like that. Those may sound a bit corny and old ladyish lol but they will help with relaxation. Also if your able to, maybe try to find a yoga pregnancy class to attend, that very well could help too. I am not a doctor but be sure you check with a doctor soon. My mom took prenatal vitamins-they help with hair and nails too. Sleep and eatting vegtables and good natural food is always cool for babies and pregnant women.

Hope I helped and good luck!
-Jewelz

mom

Dear Jewelz,
im 16 & i belive im pregnant! my bf happy bout the baby he 19 can my mom make me have a abortion
-Amanda

Dear Amanda,
no your mother cannot make you have an abortion. This is YOUR pregnancy and you should do what your heart tells you. have you concidered adoption though? maybe look into that. Raising a child at your age can be extremely difficult. so really think about your options. If your mother is unwilling to support your decision, maybe go stay with a close family friend or relative for support. Good luck!
-Jewelz

teen question

Dear Jewelz,
This may seem a strange question but i have been pregnant twice and misscarried both times, i am now pregnant again and realy want this baby, what are the chances of having a third miscarrage?
-Allison, 16

Allison,
You never can really know if your going to have a miscarriage unless you are doing things that can be hurtful to the baby, some bodies aren't meant for having babies and some are. You can go in and ask your doctor about this and they can even scan your pelvic and see is your uterus shape is right for child birth. But sometimes you loose babies just cuz. I know women who were perfectly healthy and still lost babies. I hope nothing happens to your baby now. Good Luck hun! Let me know how things go.
-Jewelz



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